Stop, Collaborate & Listen

People always say, think before you speak. But maybe that's our problem, we think and forget to speak. But I use to preach this, you can always say something later but you can't take it back once it's out there. After a few adventures I have come to think quite the opposite (yes, I am admitting that some of my cold hearted ways are wrong). When it comes to saying something positive it is easier to say. In my sorority house we talked about saying when you liked something someone was wearing or how they looked today or maybe something good they did, verbally paying forward. & I do this. When I miss someone, or randomly think about how much someone means to me I text them or call or send them message telling them so, I don't know about other people but comments like these always make my day. But negative things, or problems perhaps between friends are something totally different. I will talk to anyone but the person about the problem, and its amazing nineteen years later I'm learning that that doesn't really fix anything. It isn't always easy, there isn't always change or even a common ground you can meet on, but at least you said it, and rather it was positive or negative the person knows what you are thinking. It's not a guessing game, life shouldn't be. Telling someone whats on your mind with out them having to ask makes them more perceptible to doing that with you (& being respectful!). If you say something and someone doesn't like it, they don't need to listen, and if you say something and someone is rude in return, then they weren't worth the breath you wasted on them to say it. It simply improves communication. And saying what you are thinking, positive or negative, improves TRUST.
So maybe thinking before you speak isn't always best, in fact I would probably go with the other cliche saying "honesty is the best policy". Who cares if what you had to say is cheesy or hard to talk about, it is important that you say it because sometimes it really is too late after you get done with all that thinking.