Generational Influence

There are few things in life that I hate more than fighting. But for someone who hates fighting I sure do it a lot. But thats my other down fall, I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I'm mad, disagree, or feel attacked I respond usually with out thinking. And a fight is formed. But I hate staying mad, so literally seconds later I will be ready to move on because I don't want to waste my time fighting, but I need to realize that not everyone can do this.
I hate fighting because of what it has usually done to me in the past.
I grew up around a lot of fighting, more than the average person, and to me fighting tears people apart. I use to sit in the garage and cry while listening to screaming, or hide in my closet or when I got old enough to drive the moment there was screaming no matter the time I was out of there in a second. Fighting has ruined a lot of my relationships, and it has made people change their minds and  thats why I hate it. I'm always afraid of losing someone. People say that you only fight with the people you love because you know they wont ever leave and will love you no matter what, but I think this is the biggest lie. Maybe you think fighting with someone you love won't make them leave, but I KNOW it does.
I hate fighting. Because of how I grew up. The relationship that I have had to model my relationships after makes it hard for me to not fight with someone I love. But seeing how it tore them apart makes me want to avoid fighting, hence the getting over it quickly.

Today was just a day where I realized that how, where and with who you grew up with can really change how your view things and how you mesh with other people through out life.