Hot Like Summer

Lately with weather like this I can't help but be a tad bit excited for the summer. Usually summer gets to that point where it feels like its just dragging on, or last summer, the summer before college, was just heart breaking, but for some reason I am way too excited for. I have an amazing job watching these amazing little boys, some pretty amazing people to come back to and hang out with, some much needed time with my family, the sun, the pool, and of course my bike rides I love so much. Yes, bike rides, they were my "blog" before I started blogging. My last summer didn't go quite as planned, which ended up being the best thing for me. Matt at the beginning of the summer had started this biking thing, and I made fun of him... a lot. But after some turn of events working out became the only thing I really had to channel my emotions besides laying in my bed. So I started biking, first just a mile or two a day, by the end of the summer about 30, sometimes once, sometimes twice a day. And it was scary for awhile, mostly because I think being alone with your own thoughts can always be that way. You have no one to talk you out of that corner, you know that corner, when you get to the point you can only continue to put yourself down. And this is part of the reason I can't wait for the summer, to start biking. I learned a lot from those bike rides, but mostly how to be responsible for my own happiness. My miles didn't only increase every time but my mood after did as well. The first time I went out I came back crying, realizing how much I was losing that was out of my control, the last time I went out, two days before I left for school, I can back smiling, sweating to death, but smiling, because I wasn't losing what I thought, I was losing what wasn't important anymore and gaining what was. In a year so much has changed, so much has come full circle, but I can't wait for this summer to start realizing how everything has changed for others and to be around the people I was so afraid of losing just a year ago.