Peeling Apart The Timeline

This has been the longest week ever. But a blessed one to say the least. A lovely senior send off and will day (three cheers to get the "shacking" will) and a beautiful mothers day with my parents, sister and my other half. Emotional talks and encounters with an old flame, a meteor shower and studying outside, I don't know why people think the weekend before finals week is so bad. However, lately I've been noticing how I let what ended up happening effect previous memories. Bare with me while I try to explain, but it's something I need to get a hold on before I get home in a week and starting tearing down everything on my wall.

In a relationships if my boyfriend cheats on me I look back at the time we were together and think "he never actually cared, he never loved me". Dances we went to together or a trip or even just a random significant night all of a sudden seem like such a crock. (Dramatic yes, but if you actually read my blog it's very normal for me.) So every time I see a picture of a dance, or even think about that person, not only do I want to tear the picture to shreds but my loathing feelings towards the person grow because they ruined a great memory for me. Everything that person has ever said to me rather it be "I'm sorry" or "I love you" or even "I'll be there in fifteen, I can't wait to see you" seem like such a lie, that they never even meant it. And rather or not they actually ever cared I realize now, while I was standing in Forever 21, that letting this effect me is not fair. To let someone take away memories that I love and make them something that hurts me to think about is only letting them win more. So this is what I mean by not letting what ended up happening effect previous memories. You should never let someones bad decisions make you look back negatively upon something that use to make you so happy. Separate the events, the cheating from the dances, the lying from the trips, and the heart break from the memories.