I Should've Stayed

If you ask me everything is subjective. Unless there are legal documents, and sometimes even then, it is all a grey area. The biggest grey area of all though is cheating. What one person considers cheating others don't, from flirting to kissing to even sex, the line is very much blurred. But what blurs it even more is your stance in the love triangle.
I always tell my sister & her friends that if there isn't a ring there isn't a commitment, or one of my floor mates said that she draws the line at kids. There are three perspectives in this love triangle called cheating, all of which I have been at one point in time so in my expert opinion (and I do mean EXPERT) I've come to my separate view points from each angle and my over all view point on cheating so...

The Victim- Being cheated on is never fun. And there are stages for sure. Anger for one- I once ran over someones clothes with my car in the mud just because they cheated. Then the stage where you think it is your fault (and very little of the time it is) and lastly when you decide rather staying with this person is a good idea (let me help you out there: don't). Staying with someone who has cheated on you almost makes it seem like it is okay. It's basic  psychology, if theres no consequences there is no learning, come on even rats can do this. At some point you have to stop playing the victim, you become to strong person and you move on. My thoughts: you are only the victim for as long as you make it that way.

The Cheater: Cheating is subjective, like I said earlier, I classify cheating as anything that is emotional (flirty texting counts) or physically straying away from a committed relationship. I won't lie I have for sure fit in to this category a few times and this is what needs to happen when you do. Never try to hide it, if you do then comes the questions "how long" "with who' and of course "why". Everything you say needs to be honest, but don't give details unless you are asked. & of course never repeating this action again. Once you have cheated, even/especially if you get away with it you are more likely to cheat again. Don't put yourself in a situation where this becomes a possibility.

The "Home wrecker": Out of all these categories I have been the "other women" more times than I can count. Rather its something the actually girlfriend just made up in their head, or if it really happened I still believe that as the "other women" you should never be held responsible and you should not feel bad. If the person was going to cheat he was going to do it with you or with out you. And the victim needs to learn to blame the cheater not the "home wrecker" because most of the time the "home wrecker" doesn't even know you existed. Home wrecker, as long as you understand he probably doesn't care about you, then girl, you are golden.

I've already said it, cheating is subjective, but to much anything that is emotionally or physically straying is cheating. Everyone has different relationships, and in those relationships the two people might care more about different things, but in any situation if you are doing something that feels wrong, or doing something that you couldn't tell your significant other its not being faithful. & When you start to feel yourself straying maybe you should re evaluate your relationship.

Hot Like Summer

Lately with weather like this I can't help but be a tad bit excited for the summer. Usually summer gets to that point where it feels like its just dragging on, or last summer, the summer before college, was just heart breaking, but for some reason I am way too excited for. I have an amazing job watching these amazing little boys, some pretty amazing people to come back to and hang out with, some much needed time with my family, the sun, the pool, and of course my bike rides I love so much. Yes, bike rides, they were my "blog" before I started blogging. My last summer didn't go quite as planned, which ended up being the best thing for me. Matt at the beginning of the summer had started this biking thing, and I made fun of him... a lot. But after some turn of events working out became the only thing I really had to channel my emotions besides laying in my bed. So I started biking, first just a mile or two a day, by the end of the summer about 30, sometimes once, sometimes twice a day. And it was scary for awhile, mostly because I think being alone with your own thoughts can always be that way. You have no one to talk you out of that corner, you know that corner, when you get to the point you can only continue to put yourself down. And this is part of the reason I can't wait for the summer, to start biking. I learned a lot from those bike rides, but mostly how to be responsible for my own happiness. My miles didn't only increase every time but my mood after did as well. The first time I went out I came back crying, realizing how much I was losing that was out of my control, the last time I went out, two days before I left for school, I can back smiling, sweating to death, but smiling, because I wasn't losing what I thought, I was losing what wasn't important anymore and gaining what was. In a year so much has changed, so much has come full circle, but I can't wait for this summer to start realizing how everything has changed for others and to be around the people I was so afraid of losing just a year ago.

Don't Be Mad Once You See That He Want It

Because of recent conversations I've come to the conclusion that I don't understand why people hate being single so much, especially in college. I understand the preference of being in a relationship, it is nice, but relationships can be stressful. So...

My Top 10 Reasons Being Single Isn't That Bad

1. You can make last-minute plans with your friends and stay out all night. 
2. You can lie on both sides of your bed and have all the covers to yourself.
3. You can flirt with the opposite sex. (or make out with the same sex in some cases)
4. You can make your own decisions.
5. You don't have to remember your significant other's birthday or anniversary.
6. You don't have to feel bad about making your own plans. 
7. You only have to worry about how your actions are going to effect yourself. 
8. You can make a list of things you always wanted to do...and actually do them.
9. You spend less money. 
10. You don't have to worry about if the other person is cheating, doing something stupid (like failing out of school or drinking too much) or just plain losing interest. 
I'm all about relationships and if you like someone and they like you I think you should be together! But until you find that person stop whining. You know what they say, when you stop looking it always shows up. 

My Hope For Love

There are websites that have quotes that are meant to inspire you or to let you see a deeper meaning of something, or to just make a good Facebook status. Trust me I'd know, my roommate and I spend a lot of time reading xanga quotes sites and of course, Gives Me Hope. To say that this website literally warms my heart is not only nauseating but true. I've earlier made it known that I love old people love, and after years of my cynical viewpoint that love wasn't really meant to last saying that I love love is a pretty big step. But I do. So I read this website, and do I have stories that compare to this? Do I have stories that if I posted on this website someone would say "aw" and maybe show or read to someone else? Probably not. But I have stories, stories that I hope one day will give my kids hope for love, or at least become a mere step to where I am suppose to end up but in the meantime, while these story tellers make most people believe in love in the world, what gives someone hope for love for oneself?

For me I think change gives me hope for love.

The Chaser

Jersey chasers and letter chasers. People (typically known as girls) who like a particular area of men. For example Football players+basketball+baseball+any sport with a ball=jersey chaser. This has been around for a while, the girls are usually seen as liking the status of dating someone who is campus or nation wide known, and lets just be honest most athletes tend to be ripped, what girl doesn't love that. But letter chaser is something that has been new to me since being at school. Girls (and boys) who like people (or hook up with people) in a particular fraternity or sorority. I wont lie, my lovely friends like to call me a letter chaser (although I beg to differ, I just like to hang out with people in a particular house), but my sisters have been warning me lately about some letter chasers that seem to really like my house. For boys, a girl who is willing to sleep with your entire frat (you included) isn't always a bad thing, for girls, a boy who is willing to sleep with your entire sorority is only a bad thing. But is being a letter chaser really an appropriate word for your attraction to the particular organization? Despite the fact they freak me out, I'm going to have to argue no. A "letter chaser" just seems to me like more of a type. During recruitment girls and boys are put into their respected houses based off of the guys or girls they get along with and have things in common with. Similar characteristics and attitudes if you will. So I feel like its safe to say if you like one person in the house, you could probably like a few more of them, aka you have a type. Everyone has a type, its why a lot of people end up dating their ex's friends. I'm not saying there isn't a difference between liking certain types of people and trying to hook up with everyone in a house as a goal, but having a type really isn't much of a chaser if you ask me.

So if a letter chaser (or jersey chaser) means that I like that particular group of people then I think its safe to say we are all a chaser of something and mine just happens to be letters. (although disclaimer for my benefit, the person I like is not involved in Greek life at all!)

Old People Love

I love old people love. & now you probably think I'm weird just like 90 percent of my friends do, but I don't care. Yesterday I was at Target with my roomie and there was an elderly couple in the baby section. You would imagine they were shopping for a grandchild but no, the old man was trying on baby hats and throwing baby blankets at his lovely wife simply just to make her laugh, and they laughed and held hands and then he kissed her and it was the purest and sweetest display of love I have seen in quite sometime. For me yesterday was a good day for love.

I love old people love because it proves almost any cynic (and I use to be one) wrong. No, not all older married people have been married for decades but the fact that love is still so possible later on in life literally makes my heart smile (I'm sorry for how mushy this post is). Most forms of affection gross me out, especially teenagers, there is no need to mac in the hallways, but old couples will literally kill me. My favorite part is when I look at old people, like my grandparents who have been married for fifty some odd years who hold hands in the car and kiss good night and still can make fun of each other and laugh, and I can almost see me and who ever I marry doing the same. The moments when you are doing something with someone you love and realize you could very well be doing it for the rest of your life.

I love old people love because it proves that love is always worth it, I mean who else is going to throw baby blankets at you.

How Do You Know?

How do you know the difference between whats suppose to be a life long relationship or the relationship that should've lasted but just couldn't? When do you know to get out of it? People say that if love was easy it wouldn't be special, and I agree but at some point it becomes like homework, something that takes too much work and stresses you out and instead of just enjoying each other you are constantly wondering what the hell you are doing. Everyone has that break up, that one relationship that was nearly impossible to get over, and even years later in a happy marriage or relationship seeing that person can still stir your heart, so why did it end? Distance, fighting, communication problems. How do you make it work? There's the quote that the world can give us a million reasons why it isn't going to work but we are armed with the one reason it will. But how do you know if this love, is the one thats suppose to work. Have you ever said it out loud, said to someone "I don't think I can do this" and felt how empty you were. How do you get past it all? I keep thinking its all about adjusting, learning that every relationship is different and adjusting to the new one, but if adjusting is so hard then what? Again, you are sitting there thinking what the hell am I doing? Sometimes its easier to say I'm done, it's over, but if after you can't eat and everything makes you cry, is it really worth it, did you just throw away something you weren't suppose to?

How do you know?