For Once

New blog donezo with this one. www.foroncecourtneypaige.blogspot.com

If You Can't Say Anything Nice

He who does not understand your silence probably wont understand your words.

There's a lot of different things going on in my life and right now I just need to write down some stuff I'm thinking. So here are ten things I'd like to say to ten people. If you know me it shouldn't be hard to tell who is who. 

1. Stop lying to yourself. Yea it's been a good summer but you know that you need some help. So stop lying and figure out what is going on and get some help. Don't lose yourself more than you already have and don't ever underestimate your worth, you are much more precious than what everyone thinks. 
2. You're attitude has got to go. & I wish you wanted to hang out with me more, i feel so pathetic having to almost beg you to, but i know one day one of ill regret not spending time together. You have 3 months with me, you have 9 months with everyone else. Btw I don't care that he is 6 years older than you, but I would really like to meet him, and I hope you don't make the same mistake I did. 
3. It literally astounds me everything we have endured and how strong our friendship is now, and while I hope you know I will always be here for you I still have moments where it hurts to think that everything till this May was a lie. I'm over you in that way and I'm, again, so glad we are best friends. But I wont lie when i say the relationship really messed with the way I look at love and its making the relationships I'm trying to have now harder. I just still can't believe all that love was only a one way street, but I know talking about this is just like beating a dead horse, it makes no sense.  
4. I love you so dearly but I wish you wouldn't be such a bitch all the time. Your mood effects everyone else. I wish the house wasn't always full of lies, I can't take much more of the pressure, I want home to be somewhere I want to go, not some kind of living hell.  
5. I'm glad you are having a good summer but sometimes it really hurts me knowing you don't want to come back. I also am glad you are so happy with your decisions lately but sometimes I wish my opinion meant more to you. I'm excited to get back together, I just wish you were too. 
6. If you would just back off a bit and figure out what you are doing or trying to do then this would be the perfect relationship. I really really like you and am starting to realize that maybe right now isn't the time for us if you can't change yet.
7. You weren't there when one of the most important events happened. You wont ever have that image in your face. All you do is yell at him, when he really does love you and if you ever truly understand what losing him would mean then maybe you would be nicer. It saddens to think that the only way you will realize this is when you do lose him. 
8. I sometimes can't believe we've been friends as long as we have since sometimes I'm sitting across from you with nothing to say. I always use to blame your relationships on the distance that was between us, but maybe it is just getting older, maybe its just us choosing different life styles, or maybe it is because we never truly had anything in common.
9. I had a lot of fun this weekend, you made me remember that life is suppose to be fun not always serious. The timing could've been better but at the same time if couldn't have been. For the few days I knew you, you gave me some of the best advice I've received all summer. While it may not have been the best idea, it will def make one of the best memories.  
10. I'm dumbfound by how what we had early this year has flourished into a friendship that at times makes me want to hit you. I adore you kid but please stop trying to bang all my sorority sister, it really kills me, it is breaking my heart.